The Viagra Product Line


With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer, the manufacturer, is bringing forth a
whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men
in today's society...

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being
asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand
Jury, and Presidential Strength versions.

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car
trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they
got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more 
likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting 
a new one.

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle.
Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new
clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden 
urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking 
this drug for only two days. Still to be determined: whether the drug 
can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return 
limit.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden,
 over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks
 -especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in
 treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder).  Especially
 useful for men on Viagra.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently
undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making 
men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other 
family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious
 intestinal gases back into food solids.  Special bonus:
 Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men 
in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs 
of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects 
into "special prosecutors."

Viagra For Her

With the introduction of Viagra in response a perennial male problem, a 
famous British pharmaceutical company is now working on a range of new 
drugs in an attempt to redress the balance...
 
MIRRORCILLIN - A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors 
for up to four hours without pausing once. 

STOPPANAGGIN - Gives women a vague feeling of contentment 
towards their spouse/boyfriend. 

COSMOPOLIRA - Raises female intelligence to levels allowing 
'facts' in trash lifestyle magazines to be disputed. 

LOGICON - Trials have showed that females taking this were able 
to follow a proposition through to its logical conclusion, and argue 
effectively without being diverted into non relevant postulates such 
as 'you don't love me anymore'. 

PARKATRON - 72% of women taking this were able to safely reverse 
park a Ford Fiesta into a space only 12 meters long; 54% achieved 
this in under 15 minutes. 

MAGNATACK - Uniquely distorts the cornea, making certain 
shapes appear much larger than in reality - no practical use for 
this drug has yet been found. 

WARDROBIA - Clinical trials show that almost 23% of women 
taking this drug can safely walk past a sale notice, and an amazing 
42% actually stayed within their credit limit. 

BEERINTULIN - Engenders a female desire to bring her 
spouse/boyfriend alcoholic beverages and snacks during televised 
sports. 
A comment from Roger:
Didn't anyone conclude that the few men who died after taking viagra may
have overdosed? 
Their bodies were found stiff.