GCSE Examination Paper. SEXISM STUDIES
Time allowed 3 hrs.
Attempt all questions. If you do not know the answer to a particular
question attempt to look at someone else's paper by knocking your biro
onto the floor and having a shufty while you lean over to retrieve it.
You are allowed one visit to the toilet to look at the answers you
wrote on the wall yesterday. After ten minutes, request more paper to
frighten the other candidates into thinking that you must have written
loads. Attempt to introduce the one or two facts you are reasonably
sure of into the answers to every question. At 4.30 exactly,
everybody cough to make the invigilator jump.
Section A (50%)
1. Explain why the best women's football team in the world wouldn't
stand a chance against you and ten of your mates. Include in your
answer:
a) Why they are unable to kick a ball straight
b) What you wouldn't mind doing with them in the bath after the
match, though.
2. Pamela Anderson's tits are plastic but look good in photographs.
Compare and contrast the relative merits of plastic and real tits for
recreational purposes.
3. It is a long established fact that fat lasses are more grateful
for it. Outline some of the reasons why this is so, and explain why
all feminists are fat, ugly lesbians.
4. Write a critique of any ONE of the following films you have
watched at your mates house while his parents were away for the
weekend.
a) Sex Boat
b) Three Into One Will Go
c) King Dong
d) Speared by Zulu Lovers
5. Women drivers, eh? Discuss.
Section B (50%)
1. Describe an experiment to impress a girl by lighting a fart. What
apparatus would you require?
What risks would you run in lighting a fart and what are the benefits?
Write a balanced chemical equation to describe the reaction that takes
place when an eggy fart is lit in a pub with a match.
2. Name something a woman has invented.
3. On average, women live 7 years longer than men yet get their
pension 5 years earlier. Explain why this isn't fair, making
reference to your lazy old granny who lived to be 100 and your poor
granddad who worked 52 years down the pit and died the day before he
retired.
4. Argue heatedly over the respective merits of the Lambourghinni
Diablo and the Ferrari Testerossa without ever having seen, let alone
driven, either.
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