MANLINESS ASSESSMENT:
     
   Please take the following Manliness Assessment.....
     
   1) In the company of females, intercourse should be referred 
      to as:
       a. lovemaking
       b. screwing
       c. the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 
     
   2) You should make love to a woman for the first time only after 
      you've both shared:
       a.  your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
       b.  your blood-test results
       c.  five tequila slammers  
   
   3)  You time your orgasm so that:
        a.  your partner climaxes first
        b.  you both climax simultaneously
        c.  you don't miss SportsCenter  
   
   4)  Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
        a.  healthy, creative love-play
        b.  not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever 
            agree to
        c.  not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever
            find out about
     
   5)  Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had 
       sex with is:
        a.   the best part of the experience
        b.   the second best part of the experience
        c.   $100 extra
   
   6)  Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. 
       You tell her that it is:
        a.   no concern of yours
        b.   not a problem, she can join your gym
        c.   a conservative estimate   
     
   7)  You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
        a.   a myth
        b.   an oxymoron
        c.   a moron
       
   8)  Foreplay is to sex as:
        a.  appetizer is to entree 
        b.  primer is to paint
        c.  a line is to an amusement park ride
   
   9)  Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
       saying at the end of a relationship:
        a.  "I hope we can still be friends"
        b.  "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the 
             beep"
        c.  "Welcome to Dumpsville; population, YOU."
   
   10) A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
        a. probably needs a little more time before she can cope
           with that sort of intimacy
       b.  is uptight and a waste of time
       c.  shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first
           place