 Simple Duties ============= Don't whine about the bed being made......................+1 Don't whine about the toilet seat being up................+5 Using tissue when the toilet-paper roll is empty..........+2 Remembering to buy pantyliners when you're shopping.......+5 Returning with 20 frivolous items.........................-5 Returning with Cosmopolitain.............................-10 And tabloids.............................................-15 Filling out the quiz.....................................-20 Asking him to fill out the quiz..........................-30 Ask him if the women in Cosmo are attractive.............-40 Hogging the covers.......................................-20 Social Engagements ================== You stay by his side the entire party......................0 You hang on his arm the entire party.....................+10 You let another woman hang on his other arm..............+20 You stay by his side for a while, then leave to chat with a friend..................................................-2 Named Antonio.............................................-4 Antonio is a model........................................-6 Antonio is a stripper.....................................-8 When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at him lovingly..................................................+1 When mingling, you don't get jealous if he hugs another female....................................................+5 Or kisses her on the cheek...............................+10 Or pecks her on the lips.................................+20 When another man looks at you and you kiss your mate to show the other man that you're taken.....................+30 When another man looks at you and you wink and wave......-20 And walk away from your mate.............................-30 And act like you don't know him..........................-75 When mingling, you introduce him as "my old man" and rub his baldspot.............................................-25 When you point toward a hot-looking woman and ask him if he thinks she is attractive.................................-10 When you get angry if he says yes........................-20 When you realize that he only noticed her because you pointed her out...........................................+5 You have one drink, and that's it..........................0 You have more than a few, and get loud....................-5 And start dancing........................................-10 On the table.............................................-30 You have more than a few, and accuse other women of looking at him...................................................-15 You have a lot of drinks, and pick fights with men saying "My husband can kick your butt!".........................-60 You point out another woman's cleavage.....................0 And get mad at him for looking...........................-20 Saturday Afternoon ================== You go to the mall together...............................-5 You go to the mall and walk through the computer, electronics, & tool sections.........................+10 You go to the mall and drag him through the lingerie department...............................................-10 You spend the day shopping for furniture..................-2 You buy new furniture.....................................-5 And return it the next day...............................-20 Then go buy more.........................................-50 You spend the day at a wholesale club, buying in bulk.....+3 Most of it items reserved for you........................-10 Items that you'll never use..............................-20 You visit his parents......................................0 You visit his parents and actually make conversation......+3 You visit his parents and sulk because you hate them.....-10 You spend the afternoon watching cable shopping channels..-6 You buy things...........................................-15 On his credit card.......................................-30 His Birthday ============ You take him out to dinner.................................0 You take him out to dinner at a nice restaurant...........+5 You take him to Denny's for a free meal..................-10 You take him to a French restaurant......................-20 You give him a gift........................................0 You give him a gift and it's a tie.......................-10 You give him a gift and it's not a tie....................+2 You give him a gift and it's underwear...................-20 Tighty-whities...........................................-50 You give him a gift that he'll actually use..............+20 It's a tool..............................................+30 A power tool.............................................+50 You wait until the last minute and buy him a gift that day......................................................-10 With his credit card.....................................-30 And whatever you bought is actually for you..............-40 Thoughtfulness ============== You forget his birthday completely.......................-20 You forget your anniversary..............................-30 A Night Out With The Girls ========================== Go out with a girlfriend..................................-5 Go out with a male friend................................-30 You go to Danny's (male strippers).......................-40 You go to a bachelorette party............................-5 With Antonio, the vampire-seduction stripper.............-20 And you've got his business card.........................-40 And his jock-strap.......................................-75 You have a few drinks.....................................-9 And miss curfew by an hour...............................-12 You miss curfew by an hour and you didn't call...........-20 You get home at 3 am.....................................-30 And not wearing any panties..............................-50 And wearing different clothes............................-75 And spend the night in front of the porcelain god........-90 You're too drunk to make it home........................-100 And have to stay with a male friend for the night.......-400 Is that a hickey?!......................................-600 His Night Out ============= You stay home while he goes out with his annoying friend from work.................................................+5 He goes out with his annoying work friends, and he comes home late................................................+10 You wait up..............................................+15 He goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put him to bed......................................................+20 A Night At Home =============== You watch TV together......................................0 You rent a movie..........................................+2 It's got violence.........................................+3 And nudity................................................+5 Lots of nudity...........................................+10 Showgirls................................................+15 And you don't care.......................................+20 A Night Out =========== You take him to a movie...................................+2 You take him to a movie you like..........................-2 You take him to a movie he likes..........................+4 It's got violence.........................................+5 It's a horror film........................................+7 And you snuggle up to him in fear........................+20 Your Physique ============= You develop flabby thighs..................................0 You develop exercise to get rid of it....................+10 You complain about your weight...........................-10 You complain about your weight while eating ice cream....-20 You don't ask if he thinks you're fat....................+20 You dress to flatter yourself, no matter what your weight is.......................................................+30 You dress in tight clothing..............................+10 And the fat rolls out....................................-50 Finances ======== You forego something expensive to save money.............+20 You spend a lot of money on something impractical........-15 Something he can't use...................................-20 An expensive decoration..................................-30 And it's tacky...........................................-50 Driving ======= You get the directions for a trip.........................+4 You get the wrong directions for a trip..................-10 You forget to mention an exit............................-15 Because you were too busy checking your makeup...........-20 The Big Question ================ You ask, "Do I look fat?"................................-25 You get mad if he answers................................-30 You get mad if he doesn't answer.........................-40 Communication ============= When he wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression..........0 When he wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes....+5 You take the problem seriously...........................+25 You laugh and say "You're worried about THAT?!"..........-45 You say "Men are all alike!".............................-60 You say "Women don't worry about such things."...........-75 When you offer a solution to the problem......................+10 Blame him................................................-20 Blame all males..........................................-40 Offer a comprimise.......................................+25 Asking him to do something for you........................-5 While he's watching TV...................................-10 While he's sleeping......................................-20 While he's doing something else for you..................-25 Yelling at him if he doesn't do it that moment...........-50 Complaining about how he never does anything.............-75 |
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