Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and mine will be too if you sit down."

Man: "If this seat is taken, maybe you want sit on my face?"
Woman: "Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?" 

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter."

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you--to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous."
Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream."
Woman: "Go back to sleep."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "May I have the last dance?"
Woman: "You've just had it."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?"
Woman: "What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?"

Man: "Hey baby! That dress looks gorgeous on you! But, 
it would look even better laying on my bedroom floor."
Woman: "You're right, but the only way it'll get there is 
if you buy another one just like it and throw it there yourself!"

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" 
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" 

Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants." 
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one a*shole in there." 

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" 
Woman: "Unfertilized!" 

After hearing a pick-up line: 
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure." 

Older man: "Where have you been all my life?" 
Woman: "For the first half of it, I probably wasn't born yet." 

Man: "What do I have to give you for one little kiss?"
Woman: "Chloroform"

Man: "Wanna dance?"
Woman: "Lifes too short to dance with ugly guys." 
Submitted by Christina 

(after being pestered by a guy who just won't take a hint...)
Woman: "Listen, unless you're a hemmoroid, get off my ass!" 
Submitted by Christina 

(after being crudely hinted at to give a guy a "blow-job")
Look him dead in the eye, scan down, back up to his face, 
smirk and say;
Woman: "Sorry, I choke on small bones."  
Submitted by Christina 

Woman: "I wouldn't sleep with you if your were the last man on 
earth and I had run out of batteries."  
Submitted by Emily 

Man:  I have seen you looking at me all night and I know I make you think of sex.
Woman:  Yeah, 'cause you look like a prick.