The original Penis List
"it comes in all shapes and sizes"

The Nuprin Penis: Little, Yellow, Different.
The Equal Penis: Tastes like Sugar.
The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big. 
The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing... Taste is everything. 
The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you. 
The Alkaseltzer Penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz... Oh, what a relief it is... 
The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart. 
The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up. 
The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it. 
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take .. .? 
The Pringles penis: once you pop, you can't stop 
The m&m penis: melts in your mouth, not in your hand 
The frosted flakes penis: They're GGGRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTT! 
The lucky charms penis: They're magically delicious 
The Energizer penis: it keeps going and going 
The right guard penis: anything less is uncivilized 
The jolly green *giant* penis: self-explanatory 
The Cambells soup penis: mmm mmm good 
the kix penis: kid tested, mother approved. 
the mcdonald's penis: over 8 billion served. 
the tombstone penis: what would you like on your penis? 
the ragu penis: comes out chunkier than the rest. 
the chips ahoy penis: betcha bite a chip. (huh?) 
the cobain penis: it blows itself away.. 
the purdue penis: more meat, less bone. 
the all state penis: you're in good hands. 
the nike penis: just do it. 
the borden penis: it's GOT to be good. 
the beef penis: it's what's for dinner. 
the miller lite penis: great taste, less filling. 
the life penis: mikey likes it. 
the transformers penis: it's more than meets the eye. 
the twizzler penis: it makes mouths happy. 
the nintendo penis: now you're playing with power. 
the sega penis: PENIS! 
the robitussin penis: used by nine out of ten moms. 
the crest penis: recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists. 
the champion penis: the official penis of the '96u.s.a. o lym ic team. 
the starburst penis: the juice is loose. 
the toyota penis: i love what you do for me. 
the citibank visa penis: it's everywhere you want to be. 
the timex penis: takes a lickin and keeps on....... 
burger king penis: have it your way 
dairy queen penis: hot eats, cool treats (we treat you right) 
McDonald's penis[: HAve you had your break today? 
the uncle sam penis: we want you. 
the flintstone's vitamins penis: 10 million strong andgr ow in g 
the wendy's penis: where's the beef? 
the wizard of oz penis: "oh my!" 
The Captain Planet penis: Go PENIS!! 
The Lays penis: Betcha can't eat just one. 
The Diet Coke penis: Just for the taste of it... 
the doublemint penis: chewing really satisfies. 
the juicyfruit penis: the taste is gonna move ya. 
the big red penis: it's longer with big red. 
Robutussin Penis: Recommended by Dr. Mom... 
The little caesar's penis: Penis!! Penis!! or Pleaser! Pleaser! 
the generic penis: one size fits all. 
the mortal kombat penis: nothing can prepare you. 
The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper. 
the Pizza Hut penis: Makin' it great. 
the domino's pizza penis: delivers in 30 min or less 
the budweiser penis: this bud's for you 
the siskel & ebert penis: 2 thumbs up... 
the george of the jungle penis: watch out for that....tree? 
the nyquil penis: the nighttime coughing, sneezing,
runny nose, itching, burning, so you can't rest penis. 
The Extra penis: lasts an extra extra extra long time 
The Sears penis: Come see the softer side.
The Jewel penis: Take a new look at an old friend.
The C&C music factory penis: Makes you go hmmmmm...
The Gilette penis: The best a man can get.
The Charmin double roll penis: It lasts longer
because it is longer. 
the beatles penis: now a quarter smaller than it used to be. 
The Oasis penis: Thinks it's the beatles penis.
the Jell-o penis: look at it wiggle, look at it jiggle. 
the virginia slims penis: you've come a long way,baby. 
the at&t penis: reach out and touch someone.
the secret penis: strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.
the micro machines penis: a whole world, in the palm your hand. 
The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop.
The Bic Lighter Penis: Go ahead, flick my penis.
The Corn Flakes Penis: An All Together Great Breakfast. Submitted by Taylor
The Toaster Strudel Penis: Something Better Just Popped up.Submitted by Taylor
The Crispix Penis: Pretty Wild. For a Penis. Submitted by Taylor
The Tastetations Penis: Hard to Resist. Submitted by Taylor
The Dentyne Penis: nothing colder than ice. Submitted by Taylor
The Purple Pickle penis: Heh heh
The 7-Up penis:The UN-penis.
The Barq's penis:The one with bite.
The Subway penis:Where fresh is the taste.
The Kentucky Fried Chicken penis: Finger licking good; everybody needs a little.
The rodeo penis: don't jerk back too hard on it Submitted by Joe Rhodes
The Life penis:  Mikey likes it.
The Milk penis: It does a body good.
The Folger's Crystals penis: The best part of wakin' up is a penis in your cup.
The Mr. Clean penis: s it wet or is it dry?
The Neon penis: Hi.
The Rave Music penis: Ya'll ready for this?
The Bounce Penis: With Static-Guard!
The Wonder Bubbles penis: Magic wand inside!
The Wonder Bubbles II penis: For ages 3 and up
The Bacardi penis: Taste the feeling.
The Macintosh penis: Power is everything.
The Borg penis: Resistance is futile.
The Edge Shaving Cream penis:Ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort.
The Swiss Miss penis:The taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere!
The Payday penis: It's almost totally nuts!
The Yellow Pages penis: Let your fingers do the walking.
The Sony Play Station penis: You are not ready.
The Life Savers penis: Five fruity flavors.
The Monty Python penis: "isn't awfully nice to have a penis"
The Monty Python penis II: "every sperm is sacred...."
The Rice Krispies penis: what does your penis say to you?
The Windows '95 penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.
The Windows '98 penis: It's not ready
The Virginia Slims penis: you've come a long way, baby.
The Reese's penis: How do you eat your penis?
The Beavis penis: He-he! Huh-huh! Look! Huh-huh! It's changing color!
The Gateway 2000 penis: Lets talk about your penis
The Cheetos Penis: With cheese that goes CRUNCH!!! Submitted by Mike and Mary