Things not to say in bed
1- Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
2- On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
3- Got any penicillin?
4- When is this supposed to feel good?
5- You're good enough to do this for a living.
6- Is that blood on the headboard?
7- But everybody looks funny naked.
8- How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?
9- Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10- Is that you I can smell?
11- Have you ever considered liposuction?
12- I really hate people who actually think sex means something.
13- But my cat always sleeps on the pillow!
14- And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
15- I was so horny tonight I would have taken anything home.
16- You'll still vote for me, won't you?
17- You look younger than you feel.
18- Have you seen Fatal Attraction?
19- KY Jelly or no KY Jelly, I said NO !!
20- Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.
21- This would be more fun with some more people.
22- Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
23- It's nice being in bed with something you don't need to inflate!!
24- Did I mention the video camera?
25- My old partner used to do it a LOT longer!
26- And to think-I was really trying to pick up your friend!
27- Hope you're looking as good when I'm sober.....
28- I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29- They're not biscuit crumbs, it's only a rash.
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