Love vs. Lust vs. Marriage

 
 How do you know if you're in Love, lust, or marriage?


   
Love

        When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
   
Lust

        When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
  
Marriage

        When your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.


   
Love

        When intercourse is called making love.
   
Lust

        All other times.
  
Marriage

        What's intercourse?


   
Love

        When you argue over how many children to have.
   
Lust

        When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
  
Marriage

        When you argue over money.


   
Love

        When you share everything you own.
   
Lust

        When you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
  
Marriage

        When the bank owns everything.


   
Love

        When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
   
Lust

        When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
  
Marriage

        What's a climax?


   
Love

        When you phone each other just to say "Hello."
   
Lust

        When you phone each other just to organize sex.
  
Marriage

        When you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.


   
Love

        When you write poems about your partner.
   
Lust

        When all you write is your phone number.
  
Marriage

        When all you write are checks.


   
Love

        When you show concern for your partners' feelings.
   
Lust

        When you couldn't give a shit.
  
Marriage

        When your only concern is what's on TV.


   
Love

        When your farewell is "I love you darling."
   
Lust

        When your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
  
Marriage

        When your farewell is silent.


   
Love

        When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
   
Lust

        When you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
  
Marriage

        When you never see each other awake.


   
Love

        When your heart flutters every time you meet.
   
Lust

        When your groin twitches every time you meet.
  
Marriage

        When your wallet empties every time you meet.


   
Love

        When nobody else matters.
   
Lust

        When nobody else knows.
  
Marriage

        When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.


   
Love

        When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
   
Lust

        When it's just the same mushy old shit.
  
Marriage

        When you never listen to music.


   
Love

        When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
   
Lust

        When staying together is something you try not to think about.
  
Marriage

        When just getting through today is your only thought.


   
Love

        When you're interested in everything your partner does.
   
Lust

        When you're only interested in one thing.
  
Marriage

        When you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're
        interested in is your golf score