What to say when caught looking at another woman
Thanks MyHotBox for sending me this

WHAT MEN SHOULD SAY WHEN CAUGHT LOOKING AT ANOTHER WOMAN

I can't believe that outfit she is wearing.  (Said disdainfully)
 
Look at that guy... over there... behind the woman.

I think that's a man dressed as a woman.   (Incredulous)

Isn't that the actress from the movie Delicatessen?
    (Chances are she hasn't seen that movie- and neither have you,
    but you will get brownie points naming a foreign film,
    and it will be just obtuse enough to distract her

I think that's the girl I knew from high school who eventually
    joined a convent (or was committed to an asylum) and turned out
    to be a real nut cass

Help me, I got something in my eye... can't see a thing!

Hey that's the loser I dumped in order to go out with you.
    Boy am I glad I ever got away from her.  What a moron.

I know you're probably thinking I was staring at a
    beautiful woman, but to me she is like one of those fancy bakery
    cakes that looks good, but then you have a bite and it is so
    sweet that it makes you sick. She makes me sick.
    (It helps if you convulse a little at the end here.. maybe it will
    camouflage your drool).

I was just thinking how I felt sorry for her - since she can
    never hold a candle to you
    (this one might only get you punched, but its worth a try).

Do you think she's prettier than me?
    (Give her a taste of her own medicine)