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Men are Complex Creatures If you kiss him right away, you're easy If you don't, you are frigid If you praise him often, he thinks you are just flattering him If you don't, he thinks you are self-centered If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive If you don't, you are controlling If you visit him often, he thinks you're desperate If you don't, he thinks you're not interested If you are well dressed, he thinks you are vain If you don't, you're a Plain Jane If you are jealous and watchful, he say's you're possessive If you're not, then he fools around If you attempt a romance, he sez you are smothering If you don't, he thinks you are cold If you are a minute late, he says you are inconsiderate If he is late, and you mention it, he says you're impatient If he is visited by another woman, he sez "Oh, we're just friends" If you visit another man, you are fooling around If you kiss him often, he thinks you're forward If you kiss him only once in a while, he thinks you're too reserved If he fails to help you with the "little things", he brings up the feminist movement If he does, he expects to be rewarded If you comment at his looking at another woman, he says you're jealous If you are stared at by other men, you're flirting If you talk, it's always too much If you listen, it's never enough In short: So complex, yet so predictable So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings) So confusing, yet so funny but most of all, so damn irritating