Hunting the Elusive Male 


Bag Limits for Males 
  The following guidance is provided for the predatory 
  female in the hopes of preventing unfortunate hunting
  accidents.

Season 
  None. Males may be hunted year-round, although best 
  results are typically achieved in the Spring as they
  emerge from the winter sports-watching hibernation 
  period. Fall hunts are more difficult unless the huntress
  is prepared to bait the quarry with copious amounts of
  beer, snack food, and promises of sex over the winter
  sports season. 

Rules of the Hunt 

       Weapons (guns, knives, clubs) are prohibited except 
       for self-defense against enraged victims. Males who 
       rise in response to such threats are not to be trusted. 
   

       Bait-and-Switch tactics are illegal. The huntress 
       may not act as the agent for another, less aggressive 
       female. You hunt it, you live with it is the basic 
       rule of engagement. 
   

       Any lure may be used, although certain artificial 
       enhancements (silicone, cotton padding) are dangerous as
       they will be discovered when the hunt is about to be 
       consummated. 
   

       Any male above the age of sixteen is fair game if not 
       already claimed by another huntress. Fighting over
       claimed prey is considered unsports-personlike, even 
       though such fights may excite the prey. Hunting of
       underage game is similarly prohibited, even though it 
       might excite the huntress. Hunting overage males is
       counterproductive unless only material gains are desired. 
   

       Trapping using the honey pot technique is illegal, 
       as this may enrage the game and/or lead to years of
       frustration and mutual disappointment. 
   

       Intended prey must be unrelated to the huntress 
       unless the hunt will be consummated in West Virginia. 
   

       Multiple males may be hunted at any given time. 
       However, if the huntress reaches climax with more 
       than one at a time, while exciting for the huntress, 
       such action may cause fighting among the prey and 
       cause the huntress to acquire a damaged reputation which 
       will surely affect future hunts. 
   

       There are no monetary or time constraints on the hunt 
       or huntress. 
   

       Males are territorial; plan accordingly. If the huntress 
       is caught stalking any particular male, that male may
       become possessive for no apparent reason. 
   

       Males may, for no apparent reason, ignore the huntress's 
       advances and refuse to be hunted. This can be
       damaging to the huntress' ego. 
   

       A previously captured and released male may prove to be 
       simultaneously shy and wily, and lead the huntress
       into a trap of his own devising, one which may not be 
       obvious until after the huntress has been captured.
       Beware ! 
   

       The male, while claiming to be a tough and rational 
       creature, can be easily wounded by a careless huntress;
       these injured males may prove to be poor prey for future hunts.