HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE


           Both take up too much space on the bed.

           Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

           Both are threatened by their own kind.

           Both like to chew wood.

           Both mark their territory.

           Both are bad at asking you questions.

           Neither tells you what's bothering them.

           Both tend to smell riper with age.

           The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

           Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.

           Neither does any dishes.

           Both fart shamelessly.

           Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

           Both like dominance games.

           Both are suspicious of the postman.

           Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

           Neither understands what you see in cats.

And, submitted by Chris:

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs don't laugh at how you throw.
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
  (OK. The really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but
   there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it
   to you.)
Dogs understand what no means.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs are colorblind.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

And another 10 reasons submitted by Laura:

TOP 10 REASONS DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
10.   More sophisticated fashion sense.
 9.   Love to dance.
 8.   Willing to sleep on rug and fetch on command.
 7.   Spend less time worrying about hair loss.
 6.   Old buddies don't show up on the doorstep unexpectedly.
 5.   Utterly disinterested in professional sports.
 4.   Your parents find them easier to like.
 3.   Rarely jealous of your former boyfriends.
 2.   Willing to hold your purse in public.
 1.   Unlikely to roll over and lose consciousness immediately 
      following intense play.
  

    WHERE DOGS FALL DOWN

           Men only have two feet that track in mud.

           Men can buy you presents.

           Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take 
           them around the block.

           Men are a little bit more subtle.

           Men don't eat cat turds on the sly.

           Men open their own cans.

           Dogs have dog breath all the time.

           Men can do math stuff.

           Holiday Inns accept men.

           Men are strong and like to lift things to prove it.

           Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.

           It's fun to dry off a wet man.