THE PERFECT DAY -  HER

     	8:45        	Wake up to hugs and kisses
     	9:00        	5lbs lighter on the scale
     	9:30        	Light Breakfast
   	11:00        	Sunbathe
   	12:30        	Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
     	1:45        	Shopping
     	2:30        	Run into ex boyfriends/husbands - notice 
                        he's gained 30 lbs
     	3:00        	Facial, massage, nap
     	7:30        	Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
   	10:00        	Make love
   	11:30        	Pillow talk in his big strong arms

THE PERFECT DAY - HIM

    	6:45		Alarm.
    	7:00-7:30	Shower and massage.
    	7:30-7:45      	Blowjob.
    	7:45-8:15      	Massive dump while reading USA Today 
                        sports section.
    	8:15            Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
    	8:30            Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet 
                        to Augusta, Georgia.
    	9:30            Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf 
                        Club.
   	11:30-12:30    	Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
   	12:30-12:45    	Blowjob.
   	12:45-2:30     	Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf 
                        Club.
   	2:30            Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire 
                        Martini.
    	3:30-6:15      	Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with 
                        all female crew (topless). Catch 1249 lb. 
                        Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed 
                        lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
    	6:15-6:30      	Blowjob.
    	6:30            Lear Jet return flight, total body massage 
                        in transit.
    	7:30            Shit, shower, shave.
    	8:00-9:00      	Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's 
                        resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are 
                        indicted in the same scandal which involves 
                        graphic pictures and large farm animals).
    	9:00-10:00     	Dinner, Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. 
                        Filet mignons (rare),Gorgonzola salad, 
                        Fettuchini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite 
                        Rothschild 1963 (magnum), creme brulet, 
                        Louis XIV Cognac, Cohiba Lancero.
    	10:30-11:30    	Sex with 3 women.
    	11:30-12:00    	Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly 
                        get dressed, hail cab and leave.
    	Midnight        Sleep.