Ways To Drive A Man Crazy

• Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
• Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
• "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.
• Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then follow him with a camera to capture his "sinking" on film.
• Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.
• Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.
• Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend who "needs it more than he does."
• Have your mother fly in for a month-long visit unannounced.
• Reverse his contact lenses in their case.
• Never wear matching bras and undies. If he complains, just smirk knowingly and nod towards his pelvic area.
• Give the secret stash of dirty magazines that he thinks you don't know about to his younger brother, who he hates.
• Replace the fresh batteries of the remote control with flat ones each day.
• Burn his dinner.
• Hide the t.v. remote control in the dishwasher.
• tie his socks in knots.
• Call him at the nudie bar to tell him that his mother-in-law is visiting for a month.
• Call him at the nudie bar to tell him that his mommy wants him to call her.
• Paint the entire house in shades of lavender and pink.
• Put liquid heat in his underwear.
• Sew the leg holes of his pants closed.
• Feed the family dog beans and hot peppers.
• Put pot pourri sachets in his toolbox.
• Hide his beer in the oven.
• Invite your friends over on poker night.
• Short sheet the bed.
• Set his alarm clock an hour ahead.
• Give your teen ager permission to fix the car.
• Hide his nudie magazines in the laundry hamper.
• Password your computer.
• Leave the box of feminine supplies in plain view.
• Glue the toilet seat down.
• Glue the blinds part-way up so he can't walk around the house nude.
• Cement the holes in his bowling ball.
• Flatten all the spikes in his golf shoes.
• Back over his golf clubs several hundred times.
• Hide the car keys in your purse.
• Cancel your cable subscription.
• Use his good screwdrivers to chip the ice out of your freezer.
• Put a block on your long distance calls so he can't use his 900 number.
• put itching powder in his socks.
• Scream at the top of your lungs everytime you see a spider.
• Tell his buddies that he privately enjoys wearing your undergarments.
• Tell him you're pregnant.(again)
• Forget to do the shopping.
• Hide ex-lax in his dessert and lock yourself in the bathroom for a long bubble bath.
• Leave tickets for the ballet on the breakfast table.
• Play tug-of-war with the dog using the morning paper.
• Deliberately forget to put out a fresh roll of toilet paper, and hide the rest in the linen closet.