Whatsamatta University's 
Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses
for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand
each other better.  Attendance in at least 10 of the following courses is
required.

Etiquette and Behavior:

  EB101:  PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
  EB102:  We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas
            (Just Give Us The Credit Cards)
  EB103:  How Not To Act Like An Asshole When You Are Obviously Wrong
  EB104:  Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere Except In The
            Bathroom
  EB105:  You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Damn Well Please
  EB106:  How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
  EB107:  Attainable Goal - Omitting Foul Expletives From Your Vocabulary
  EB108:  Fluffing The Blankets After Farting Is Not Necessary

General Electives:

  GE101:  You, The Weaker Sex
  GE102:  Mother-in-Laws Are People Too
  GE103:  The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous
  GE104:  Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home
  GE105:  You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked

Home Economics:

  HE101:  You Too Can Do Housework
  HE102:  How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray
  HE103:  Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly called "Don't Wash My Silks")
  HE104:  Garbage - Getting It To The Curb
  HE105:  Get A Life - Learn To Cook
  HE106:  How To Put Down A Toilet Seat (formerly called "No, It's Not A Bidet")
  HE107:  How To Tolerate Bras And Pantyhose Hanging In The Bathroom
  HE108:  How To Color-Coordinate
  HE109:  Aiming Techniques During Urination
  HE110:  Overcoming Electronic Gadgetry Obsession

Interpersonal Relationships:

  IR101:  Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am
  IR102:  Reasons To Give Flowers
  IR103:  Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Often Bullshit
  IR104:  Romanticism - Other Ideas Beyond Sex
  IR105:  Marriage - Those Who Talk And Play Together, Stay Together

Life Skills:

  LS101:  Combatting Stupidity
  LS102:  Parenting Roles Beyond Initial Conception
  LS103:  Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right
  LS104:  Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
  LS105:  How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost
  LS106:  The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency
  LS107:  Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes
  LS108:  You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
  LS109:  Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works!
  LS110:  You Don't Really Need That Porsche After Thinning Hair And Mid-Life
            Crisis
  LS111:  Knowing When To Stop And Ask For Directions When Lost On The Road

Sex Education:

  SE101:  How To Stay Awake After Sex
  SE102:  Fall Semester: You Really Can Fall Asleep Without Doing It, If You
            Really Try
            Spring Semester: The Morning Dilemma - If It's Awake In The Morning,
            Take A Cold Shower
  SE103:  Why Women Enjoy Giving Head About As Much As Men Enjoy Taking Out The
            Garbage
  SE104:  How To Interpret A Female "No" Reply When She Really Means "NO"
  SE105:  How To Interpret A Female "No" Reply When She Really Means "Yes"
  SE106:  Variations On Sex Positions (formerly called "Women Like To Be On Top
            Sometimes Too")
  SE107:  Alternatives To Handle Cases Of Sudden Erection
  SE108:  Foreplay - The Slow And Easy Appetizer Preceding The Main Meal