Why is it computers must be male?
  
They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
  
They periodically cut you off right when you think 
you've established a network connection.
  
They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't 
do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
  
They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be 
traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've 
already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled 
to remain with an underpowered system. 
  
They get too hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time 
you have their attention. 
  
They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 
  
A better model is always just around the corner. 
  
They look nice and shiny until you bring them home. 
  
It is always necessary to have a backup. 
  
They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons. 
  
The best part of having either one is the games you can play. 
  
The lights are on but nobody's home. 
  
Big power surges knock them out for the night. 
  
Size does matter.