Seven Stages of the Married Cold

Stage 1: Sugar dumpling, I've really been worried about my baby girl. That's a bad sniffle and there's no telling about these things with all the strep that's going around. I'm going to put you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food's terrible, but I'm going to bring you dinner every night from Rosini's. I've got it all arranged with the floor supervisor.

Stage 2: Listen, darling, I don't like the sound of that cough. I'm going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl just for papa.

Stage 3: Maybe you'd better lie down, honey. Nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy. I'll bring you something. Have you got any canned soup?

Stage 4: Now look, dear, be sensible. After you've fed the kids and gotten the dishes done and the floor mopped, you'd better lie down.

Stage 5: Why don't you take a couple of aspirins?

Stage 6: If you'd just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal all evening!