The Birthday When I awoke this morning, I was aware it wasn't an ordinary day. I felt some inner sense of dread that made me want to close my eyes and go back to sleep. Then I remembered it was my birthday. At my age, who needs another one ? I wondered if any of the family remembered my request last year that they all just ignore my birthday this year. I arose, showered, dressed and descended the stairs, bracing myself for the usual chorus of "Happy Birthday's" from the kids. But there was none. I didn't even receive a cheerful "Happy Birthday, Dear" as usual, from my wife. Instead of being grateful that so far the world had allowed me to ignore the whole damn thing, I somehow felt an even deeper gloom. As I entered my office, my lovely blonde secretary, whom I'd never gotten anyway with as far as extra-office activities go, greeted me with nothing more than "Good Morning, Mr. Jones". Then at 11:30 it happened. My secretary came in, all smiles, saying "It's such a beautiful day, I've decided to take you to a darling little place for lunch to celebrate your birthday." We arrived, had a few drinks and a wonderful lunch. On the way back to the office, she said "Now we'll stop by my apartment where it is quiet and we'll have more privacy". When we arrived, she mixed me a drink and then excused herself to "change into something more comfortable". "Ah..." I thought, "this is a good and just world after all". Soon she called out, "Are you ready for my little surprise ?" Her bedroom door opened and there she stood -- holding a huge birthday cake aglow with candles. There also stood my wife and all the kids, their eyes aglow with love... And there I stood... With nothing on but my socks.