20 Things he wants the perfect girl to say 


1) I'll swallow it all... I love the taste. 

2) Are you sure you've had enough to drink? 

3) I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy! 

4) Shouldn't you be down the pub with your mates? 

5) That fart was great! Do another one! 

6) I've decided to stop wearing clothes in the house. 

7) You're so sexy with a hangover. 

8) I'd rather go and play Virtual Fighter than go 
   shopping. 

9) Let's start subscribing to Penthouse. 

10) Would you like to see a video of me going down 
    on my girlfriend? 

11) Just for a change can we try anal sex tonight? 

12) I really like football, can you take me to a game. 

13) You'd better drive, you're far safer than I am, 
    and besides everyone knows women can't drive. 

14) Actually we shouldn't have been given the vote, 
    we're better off in the kitchen. 

15) I think a big motorbike is a good idea. 

16) I don't care if my bum looks big in this, let's 
    just go and get pissed. 

17) We haven't gone out with your mates for a while, 
    shall we all go to Stringfellows. 

18) Why can't you let your hair down and have a    
    few vodka chasers with me. 

19) I know you're already late for work, but can 
    I gag on it just one more time. 

20) Aim where you like, it's really good for my skin.

Or 
(some double entries)


Things you will never hear your girlfriend or wife say.....

1. I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste. 
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I signed up for aerobics so that I can get my 
ankles behind my head for ya...
4. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your 
buddies? 
5. That was a great fart! Do another one!
6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around 
the house.
7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with 
you than go shopping.
9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.
10. Would you like to watch me go down on my 
girlfriend?
11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can 
check out women's asses.
12. I'll be out painting the house.
13. I love it when you play golf on Sundays, I 
just wish you had time to play on Saturday too.
14. Honey..our new neighbor's daughter is 
sunbathing again - come see!
15. I know it's a lot tighter back there but 
would you please try again?
16. No, No, I'll take the car to have the 
oil changed.
17. Your mother is way better than mine.
18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's 
day thing and buy yourself new clubs.
19. I understand fully...our anniversary comes 
every year for Christ's sake, you go hunting 
with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever.
20. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good 
porno movie, a rack of beer, a few joints, 
and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome!
21. Christ, not the fucking mall again, come 
on let's go to that new strip joint!
22. Listen, I make enough money for the both 
of us, why don't you retire and get that 
nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.
23. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop 
getting up for the night feedings.
24. God..if I don't get to blow you soon, 
I swear I'm gonna bust!