Why A Beer Is Better Than A Man

     A beer makes life easier. 
     A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up. 
     A beer lasts longer than seven seconds. 
     A beer doesn't want to watch pro wrestling. 
     A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry. 
     A beer will never leave dirty socks on the floor. 
     A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes. 
     A beer doesn't care if you go shopping. 
     A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits. 
     A beer won't leave you for a younger woman. 
     Having a beer can't make you pregnant. 
     A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow. 
     A beer will never smell like a man. 
     A beer doesn't wouldn't trade you in on a sports car. 
     If a beer did have a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you. 
     A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers. 
     A beer doesn't sulk. 
     A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine. 
     A beer won't switch the TV channel. 
     A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open. 
     A beer doesn't snore. 
     A beer can't interrupt. 
     A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburator. 
     A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat. 
     A beer doesn't belch. 
     A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom. 
     A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook. 
     A good beer is easy to find. 
     Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common. 
     A beer can't pout. 
     A beer doesn't have a mother. 
     A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer. 
     A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car. 
     A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer. 
     A beer won't even mind if you have another six pack. 
     A beer doesn't buy everything labelled "turbo". 
     A beer won't care if you gain five pounds. 
     A beer will be there for anytime of the month. 
     A beer doesn't want children. 
     A beer doesn't think poetry is queer. 
     A beer isn't ready until you're ready. 
     If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer. 
     A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you. 
     Hangovers go away. 
     A beer tastes good. 
     Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower. 
     A beer is never late. 
     A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling. 
     A beer's life does not revolve around the world series. 
     A beer won't think less of you if you can't name the Steelers' quarterback. 
     A beer won't even act amazed if you can. 
     A beer would never make fun of your new outfit. 
     A beer never needs a shave. 
     You don't have to let a beer win. 
     A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza. 
     Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to sleep with a beer too. 
     A beer doesn't have morning breath. 
     A beer never wants to go to the drag races. 
     A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go. 
     A beer helps with the houswork. 
     A beer will never drink the last beer. 
     A beer will never fumble with your bra. 
     A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it. 
     A beer always lets you read the Sunday comics first. 
     A beer is seldom messy. 
     When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep. 
     A beer container is recyclable. 
     A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom. 
     A beer will NEVER call you "Babe". Or "Sugar". 
     A beer is never tempermental. 
     A beer will never complain about your cooking. 
     A cold beer is a good beer. 
     A beer is not kinky unless you want it to be kinky. 
     A beer will never worry about losing its hair. 
     A big, fat beer is nice to have. 
     A beer is never too sensitive. 
     A beer won't steal the covers. 
     You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes. 
     A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.